Review of “Tales of the Shire”

Oh boy, where to even start? Let me just spill my guts about “Tales of the Shire” for a sec because, honestly, it’s a bit of a mixed bag. First off, let’s talk Hobbits. You know, those cozy, homey little critters from Tolkien’s world. They’re like the pinnacle of comfort — tea on the stove, feet up by the fire. Sounds dreamy, right? So you’d think a game with Hobbits would be all warm and fuzzy, like slipping on your favorite sweater. But uh, this one’s… not quite there.

Okay, so picture this. You’re plopped right into the timeline between “The Hobbit” and “The Lord of the Rings.” Gandalf makes a cameo, which is cool, I guess. You play as, well, yourself — a hobbit making a new home in Bywater, trying to help it get official recognition. It’s charming, but I kept thinking, “Is running errands all Hobbits do? Like, really?” It’s a lot of “go here, chat with that guy, cook something.” Maybe it’s me, but the place is a maze and I almost needed a map to breathe. Weird, huh? Still, the charm kept me going. Sort of.

Cooking — let’s dive into that, because it’s the game’s center stage. Gardening, foraging, all leading up to cooking. It’s pretty fitting for Hobbits. But — and here’s the kicker — it doesn’t really mix things up much. Feels like every road leads to the same meal invite scene. Don’t get me wrong, I dig the cooking vibe, but there’s only so much stew I can make before it gets lukewarm. And why isn’t my hobbit hungry ever? Isn’t that like, against hobbit law?

The game days feel like life sim 101. You know, farming, chatting, just floating through the hours. Shops open, shops close, and if you stay up too late, expect a sluggish morning. That’s it, though. Sometimes I’d finish my to-do list and have to fish just to kill time — not a bad thing, but kinda meh when you’re itching for more action.

Played it on the Switch and the Switch 2, and let’s just say, it wasn’t a visual feast. The landscapes are meh, the hobbits are a tad odd-looking. Big props for the bearded dwarf lady, though! Frame rate? Brace yourself, it’s a bumpy ride on the Switch 1. Even the Switch 2 gives you a little morning jolt of lag. Random time, but the sky went full-on redness once and it was like living in a weird fever dream. No clue if that’s a regular thing or just the game having a moment. But crashes, oh man, they were a nightmare. Like, every 20 minutes, and I’d scramble to save before my hobbit world crumbled. Heart-stopping, I’m telling you.

So yeah, “Tales of the Shire” should’ve been the cozy game dream. The idea’s ripe for it but this version feels half-baked. Could it be amazing one day? Maybe! But right now, with the bugs and the shallow gameplay, it’s a hard sell. I’m rooting for it deep down — who knows? Maybe someday it’ll find its sweet spot. For now, though, it’s a bit like dreaming of a feast and getting an appetizer. Just saying.