Alright, so picture this: it’s the holiday season, and you’ve got this game, “Cat From Hell – Cat Simulator” from Upscale Studios. Sounds like a riot, right? Cats going wild, a Christmas soundtrack, pure chaos. I was so ready for a good laugh. But, uh, spoiler alert… didn’t quite hit the mark. Stick with me here, as I attempt to unpack why.
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So, here’s the setup: you’re this cat, and your mission, should you choose to accept, is to absolutely wreck Grandma’s place. I’m talking vases taking nosedives, curtains getting clawed mid-snooze. You ever feel that urge to bat stuff off tables? Turns out, there’s a game for that.
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First thing, it’s Christmas night. Santa’s clumsy and drops this troublesome cat into another cat’s territory—you. The new guy breaks a flower pot and frames you for it. Naturally, you plan some payback, right? You’ve gotta cause enough chaos to get this intruder booted. But watch out, Grandma’s got eyes like a hawk. Get caught, and it’s game over, my friends.
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The idea’s sound. You sneak up, break stuff, and hide. Grandma dashes in with her Christmas bells chiming. But, um, remember how I said it didn’t hit the mark? The execution is like my first batch of holiday cookies—disappointing. You’d expect some slapstick comedy gold, but nope, it kind of fizzles out.
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Oh boy, the game has more bugs than my old shed. Grandma and the other cat get stuck on furniture like they’re in a bad sitcom. And if Grandma wants to walk through a chair (because who doesn’t?), you’re just… stuck. Waiting. Watching her angry meter drop from red to a calm blue. Riveting stuff, I know.
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Planning your attack? Good luck. Sometimes the game just decides who gets blamed, and guess what, it’s often wrong. One time, I “won” because the rival cat practically melted into the couch. Yep, Grandma fell for that. Points for unintentional genius, I guess.
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And the visuals, let’s be real—imagine a PlayStation 2 game. Now subtract some pixels. That’s about right. The first-person view is rough, the paw animations are just awkward, like when you try to wave at someone and they don’t see you. Grandma doesn’t sound great either, like she’s talking through a tin can. The music? Eh, could take or leave it.
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Oddly, no Platinum trophy. For a budget game, you’d think there’d be incentives for the trophy hunters out there. You get some trophies for collateral damage and outsmarting the rival, though. Oh, there’s a Sandbox Mode too. It’s just you and Grandma roaming about. Gotta love that solitude.
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In retrospect, I anticipated festive chaos, but it was a hodgepodge glued together by something flimsy. The AI’s clunky, the game’s mechanics are hit or miss. And when the main event—framing the cat—doesn’t work, it’s like trying to enjoy ice cream that’s mostly melted. Five bucks isn’t much, but even so, it’s a tough one to suggest on the PS5.
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Disclaimer: Checked out this chaos factory courtesy of Upscale Studios’ PlayStation copy.