AMD Unveils EPYC 4005 Series Workstation CPUs, Boasting Up to 16 Zen 5 Cores with Impressive Performance

Sure, let’s dive into this. So, AMD just dropped the “Grado” EPYC 4005 CPUs. These things are apparently all about giving businesses a bang for their buck. I mean, they’re competing with Intel’s Xeon stuff, and that’s a big deal if you’re into tech rivalries. And who isn’t, right?

Anyway, AMD hit us with a press release. Gotta love those – pure corporate poetry. They’re saying these chips are perfect for small and medium-sized businesses. By the way, did you know squirrels can remember where thousands of nuts are hidden? No idea why I thought of that. But back to AMD.

They’ve got a photo in the article too. It’s one of those sleek CPU pics. Makes me want to start a server business or something. But then I remember I can’t even keep my plants alive.

So, what’s the deal with these processors? They’re banking on using the AM5 socket, same as the 4004 series. That means it’s no biggie swapping them out if you’ve got an earlier model. Anyway, in some test they ran – maybe it was Phoronix? – this EPYC 4565P model smokes Intel’s 6300P. It’s like 1.83 times better or something. Numbers, am I right? They make my head spin.

AMD’s Derek Dicker – yes, that’s his real name – talks about balancing performance and budget. I mean, who doesn’t want that? Perfect for all those IT folks banging their heads against budget constraints.

And, oh, they’re teaming up with all the big names: Lenovo, Gigabyte, ASRock Rack, and others. I wonder if they all meet up for coffee and trade war stories.

The specs table made my eyes glaze over – it’s like another language. But here’s the shortlist: models range from the 4565P with 16 cores to the 4245P with 6 cores. Prices? All over the place, but the top dog runs you about $699.

Another quote – this time from Lenovo. They’re all like, “We’re gearing up for AI with these bad boys.” Small businesses, get ready for the future, I guess? AI is knocking on your door.

And yet another pic – it’s CPU glamour shots all over again. Anyway – wait, no, was that everything? Yeah, I’m done here. If you’re in the market for enterprise CPUs, these might be your jam.

I wonder if I should get a tech job. Or not. Back to real life…